Sexting Improves Sex Lives
Sexting Changes Sex Lives IRL. Bizarre as it may seem, sexting improves sex lives because ‘sexting‘ represents the real us—the ‘better version’ of us.
Many women sit on the fence when it comes to sexting. Some engage in it with enthusiasm; some feel weird about receiving unsolicited dick pics and being asked by men I’ve never met to “come over and Fuck.” It can be uncomfortable, cryptic, and fodder for blackmail and public shaming. However, sexting can also generate a real erotic conversation between two people (or more, if that’s your thing), letting you communicate sexual desires that would be terribly awkward to express face-to-face.
Sexting improves sex lives. Regardless of how you feel about it, though, sexting is now a critical part of the modern sexual interplay between consent adults. A recent study on adult sexting habits suggested that eight out of ten between the ages of 18 and 70 sext. In other words, everybody. Which leads one to wonder whether all that sexting has changed the way we talk about and engage in sex IRL?
Sexting has the same consequence as watching porn or reading erotica: It gets the fantasy sex wheel in your brain turning. But unlike watching porn or reading erotica, sexting is personalised. “It is proof that the person is attracted to you, knowing that you are lusted after is one of the greatest turn-ons ever.
You can’t argue with that. The best sexts you will receive will provide a lengthy description of exactly how ‘he’ wants you to sit on his face and how he wants to lick your pussy. When those hot intimate steamy messages stop coming through, you will miss them because it’s nice to know that someone is thinking about your pussy while you’re pushing a shopping trolley around Waitrose.
Sexting Improves Sex Lives
How do you Sext with a stranger without feeling awkward?
Sexting has not made people hornier. Just read the poems of Catullus, or letters written by James Joyce to his wife Nora—those are unbelievably filthy.
No, it’s with the advent of mobile phone technology that those dirty conversations can now happen anytime. You can literally send a text about rock hard cocks while sitting in a restaurant, and no one else will know what you are up to, and that is, in itself, incredibly sexually exciting.
Some people may believe that technology has caused a moral panic, but in many cases, it’s just democratising what people have been doing for centuries.
You have probably never said the words “fuck me up the arse” out loud. It’s like the Voldemort of genitalia.
Sexting improves sex lives. But now, since we’re cramming all of this dirty talk into our smartphones, we say things to people we would never be able to say to them in person. You have probably never ever said the words “fuck me up the arse” out loud in a sexual situation. “Cock,” sure, and obviously “pussy”—but never “fuck me up the arse.” It’s like the Voldemort of genitalia. Have you ever tried to say the things you sext to someone? It’s just not natural.
To prove this, we undertook a small project to act out real sexting conversations and turn them into short videos. The resulting IRL Sext videos were totally weird: The conversations didn’t make any sense; there was no real flow to the chat; they felt awkward, with prolonged pauses, and they had an uncomfortable ambiguity about where precisely the conversation ought to be taking place. Irrespective of the framework of the videos, it’s apparent that these conversations were intended to exist in the digital world.
Are you getting turned on?
If, our little Sext video project resonates with you. When you read back what you have sent as a sext, do you ever think to yourself ‘Who typed this filthy shit?’ Was it really me? Does it feel almost like it is your alter ego that’s sending dirty messages and not the real you that exists in real life?
Well it’s not quite that extreme. What’s actually happening is that sexting makes things more inclusive, which also means we’re doing it faster. When we’re rushed, we don’t seem as articulate.
That doesn’t make what you’re typing insincere. You may indeed never say or do those things in person; those are your sexual fantasies and lustful desires. So, in some ways, it’s a more accurate representation of you.
Sexting (or textual expression) makes people feel more satisfied in their sexual interactions, especially if those interactions are casual with no commitments on either side. Sexting can also help people wrestle with their uncomfortable emotions. At the end of their experiment, the individual’s found it was much easier to express their feelings through text messaging.
The proof: Sexting simplifies things.
Counterintuitive as it may seem, sexting represents the real us, the better version of us. It’s a space where we feel safer in sharing our fantasies, even the ones that will never actually come to life—and especially the ones that will.
Emma Valasco