Sex Texting: The Reality of What Research Tells Us

sex texting

SEX TEXTING (Sexting) between consenting adults.

When it comes to sexting, there are ample misconceptions about the nature of this oh-so-debated sexual act. But it turns out that our research into sexting behaviour reveals some interesting, counterintuitive things about its influence on modern relationships.

For instance, it turns out sexting may be just as much a part of contemporary monogamy as it is a part of a hook-up culture — and maybe even more so. While there’s nothing wrong with experimenting with sexting outside of a relationship, sending sexy texts or photos may actually predict the presence of a committed relationship.

Sex Texting: We asked over 400 unmarried heterosexual service users about their sexting habits, including dating apprehension, affection style, and the level of devotion they needed to feel before they felt relaxed enough to engage in sexting. What we found was that sexting was more common among people with stable romantic partners than people without.

It’s fair to say that we were somewhat surprised by our findings, as our initial hypothesis was that people with insecure attachment styles (those who, according to attachment theory, are less secure in their intimate relationships and more anxious about a partner leaving) and higher anxiety about being single in general, would have higher rates of sexting. While it appears that there is a link between worrying about what a sexting partner thinks of you and sexting behaviour, we found that people who tend to have more secure attachment styles, in fact, sexted more frequently.

Sex texting: In other words, sexting is connected to comfort with close relationships, rather than an insecure attachment.

What this tells us is that people have the drive to please their partner’s sexual desires — or their imagined desires — and, therefore, will engage in sexting. Sexting is associated with having a comfort with intimacy and it is this which allows sexting to occur.

We believe that, beyond being a potential forecaster of relationship devotion, sexting is essentially a highly common behaviour amongst adults and can even be advantageous in certain types of relationships.

Sex texting: Sexting is a widespread behaviour that adults engage in for a variety of reasons. Although the relationship between sexting and relationship fulfilment requires some additional thought, our research suggests a strong relationship between sexting and sexual satisfaction.

Finally (we wish this would go without saying), sexting requires consent between partners just like anything else.

A cautionary note: a survey of 480 undergraduates found that about one fifth had experienced sexting coercion. When non-consensual or coercive sexting takes place it needs to be taken seriously.

What this tells us is that sexting isn’t that dissimilar from regular sex: It happens, and a lot of adults do it, but it should always be consensual.

As long as you’re in the mood and you are sexting with another consenting adult, you can feel free to send a sexy text message.

Need help thinking of what to say? We’ve got you covered… 50 Sexting examples.

Sex texting: Author XXX Sex Contacts

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