Escorts, Clients, and the Sex Industry: all the questions you wanted to ask but never did.
1. What is an Exotic Escort?
The phrase ‘exotic’, in an escorting context, means being ‘different’ from your run of the mill escort. Exotic escorts differentiate themselves by their cultural roots; ideological outlook and upbringing. However, using the word exotic to describe an escort today usually means that she will be oriental.
Many escorts use the term ‘exotic’ to portray themselves as having a different kind of ‘beauty’ or appearance and to ‘stand-out’ from the majority. An example where exotic might be used is in the case of an Asian escort working in the UK, where escorts are mainly white girls. Asian escort girls will often describe themselves as ‘exotic,’ because their features differ from the majority of white UK escorts.
2. Is it harder for an escort who has sex with multiple partners daily to orgasm?
It really depends on her, as an individual and her own situation. A lot of women hold back (or are oblivious to) their own sexual desires, so achieving an orgasm may be tricky and not happen that often in their lives. Contemporary gender roles are a key reason in the inhibition of female sexuality, as female satisfaction has usually been dismissed as immaterial in fashionable Western dialogue. Conversations that marginalised female sexuality stem from Victorian-era morals. Of course, things have altered, as the awareness of female sexual yearning is being rejuvenated back into our way of life. However, wholesome female sexuality is still fairly rare. Yes, it appears that women are more sexually ‘open’ compared to the past. But in reality, most women have merely become more sexually objectified. Acting ‘sexy’ gives the fantasy that women are more sexually tuned with themselves — but it is a daydream for most, as most are not within longing for sex. Moreover, a wholesomely, sexually tuned woman would not inevitably need to show it by objectifying or debasing herself.
Some escorts are the odd ones out in that the more sex they have, the more aroused they become. However, even in escorting circles that can be remarkably rare — most escorts are like most other women in terms of sexual craving. For some escorts, having sex with punters can enhance their personal sex life. I may or may not get aroused by clients, but it definitely builds up my expectation when it comes to my personal lovers. Having middle-of-the-road sex with clients can at times make escort girls crave good intimacy with someone they desire outside of what amounts to a ‘business’ transaction with a punter. Likewise, having good sex with clients can create an intense arousal to be with their personal lover. It is not uncommon for an escort to get really aroused and want to be with their ‘real life’ lover straight after another man has just slept with them.
3. What do escorts think about older clients?
Old, middle-aged, or young… it doesn’t really matter to most sex workers what age a client is as long as they are of a legal age to consent to the sex of course. Age does not label how a client will act, so such things are quite immaterial. That said, some female escorts prefer older clients because they believe that older clients are easier to please. This belief could be because older men tend to be more patient and relaxed in their sexuality, whereas young men tend to be more eager (although I am generalising here). However, characteristics of all sorts can be found in punters of any age, class or ethnic background. To standardise or normalise would be a mistake – but to generalise is acceptable, but only just!
4. Do Escorts Give Discounts (Cheaper Rates) for Good Looking Men? Do Escorts Prefer Good Looking Men?
This question makes me laugh. No! I’d say the bulk of escorts would laugh if a man believed his ‘good looks’ would get him a better deal. Most escorts do not care about looks. A skilled courtesan knows very well that ‘good looks’ have no bearing on their livelihoods. A handsome client does not guarantee that he will be a good sexual lover, a good person or at best, generous. Virtues that most escorts value in punters is kindness, consideration, respect, cleanliness, humour, and unselfishness in sex (non-demanding) – such things cannot be compensated by exterior aesthetics alone.
This question reminds me of a client who tried to book a particular escort. The story goes something like this. He made contact and made numerous efforts to tell her how ‘handsome’ he was, and how ‘well-endowed’ his penis was. The escort rolled her eyes and thought to herself, ‘You are probably rubbish at sex because you are trying to convince me of how marvellous you are.’ Needless to say, she blow him out.
Footnote: Ladies be wary: Any man who boasts about his achievements or claims to be ‘great in bed’ is to be avoided. Men with big egos are more often than not masking HUGE insecurities and shortcomings. Fortunately, after years of encountering so many different men, I know very well that: If it seems too good to be true, it is! Any man who proposes a ‘larger than life’ offer always has a dirty motive behind it, so please be on your guard of such things.
5. What to do when a Regular Client Visits other Girls?
Do nothing. He’s a client. Expect it. Sadly, in the context of contemporary prostitution, it is more than okay for a client to have no responsibility towards an escort. Even if he has seen her lots times, it is at best a flimsy relationship of little meaning. Of course, not all clients have this ‘neglecting’ intent with escorts. There are clients who stay loyal to one woman. Respectable clients will identify with an escorts life and feelings — they don’t just see her as an object for their personal pleasure.
Thankfully, most escorts will have a decent number of regular clients they can rely on and may even have known some for a number of years. But, no man is bound to be loyal to an escort. Many clients are married. Escorts will only see clients when they are requested, and will not intrude in a client’s personal life… nor should a client seek to interfere in an escort’s private life either. Whether or not an escort’s regular clients see other girls is none of her business. I professional escort should have no expectation of a client beyond that of the service he has paid for – it is fundamentally a business transaction and nothing more.
In reality, some escorts get angry when their regular client starts seeing another girl. Instead of blaming the client, they often blame the other escort for ‘stealing’ him. But blaming other escorts is hardly legitimate. Blaming the client is also unacceptable. It is simply part of the escorting world. Relationships are very fluid, so should never be taken too seriously.
Sometimes an escort may be too busy in her personal life to accommodate a regular client. This may lead to the client choosing to visit another girl. If you are an escort reading this, if you hold with the notion of ‘hoarding’ clients then you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Being open with clients will often lead to even greater client loyalty!
6. Do Escorts Prefer Punters who are Well-Endowed?
From chats I’ve had with escorts, most complain when a client is too big, or too much work (meaning too challenging as it can take too long to cum). For example, if a clients’ size is too big and the intercourse is expected to be painful, then the escort might refuse to have sex with him. If a punter is fairly large, most escorts hope the sex will be over quickly. Some escorts with very big egos will say things like, “I’m not going to risk hurting my pussy with one client because it’s not worth it.” One particular escort told me “I have declined to have sex with clients who have a massive cock because I didn’t feel the likely pain was ‘worth’ my time.”
Perhaps surprisingly, men who are very well endowed are not at all common. Most clients are average in genital size. Some escorts will develop a penchant for men with a small/smaller dick because the assumption is that it will have less impact on her body. Most prefer average or smaller dicks with clients because logically it’s easier on their body. However, the preference for their own pleasure is another story. This is probably because the men they enjoy are average or slightly bigger than average — but not too big. However, ‘size’ factors are only one part of the great pleasure escorts experience and it should be noted that ‘small’ men also give great pleasure. One escort told me “If I happen to be aroused on a particular day, I must confess that I prefer a ‘slightly bigger than average’ size over a small prick. I can remember a few weeks ago I was so aroused one day, and I was meeting a new client. I was very full of craving and was hoping that he would be ‘big,’ but to my disappointment, his penis was quite small.”
However, all escorts will agree that a man’s penis size does not guarantee pleasure. A lot of men are apprehensive about their penis size, but cock size is less important to giving sexual satisfaction to a woman. The experience of an escort is not just about the physical aspects but also mental stimulation and geometric fit too. Great enjoyment is never simply the mind or body; it is the blend of both. To demonstrate this in another way: a stunning woman may attract someone, but her body alone is not enough to draw authentic and deep desire from another person. Good looks may attract men, but when people fall in love they fall in love with other essentials that are not just physical. Physical attraction, alone, is a very limited and unfulfilling way of experiencing true bliss.
7. Is it Bad if Your Girlfriend is a Professional Escort?
No, why would it be bad? It is only ‘frowned upon’ because contemporary society has a distorted and very unfair stance when it comes to prostitutes. An escort is no different than any other human being. Yes, her lifestyle is different, but she is worthy of love, acknowledgment and care just as anyone else. Unfortunately, there are still some that hold views that unorthodox groups are undeserving of basic human dignity. Such an unkind view needs to be challenged.
8. Do Escorts Enjoy Having Sex?
This question makes the assumption that human emotions can be standardized and generalized like a lifeless product.
I cannot speak on behalf of all escorts, because human beings have a diverse span of emotions, experiences and life circumstances which all form their unique way of viewing life (and viewing others). If an escort loves having sex, it does not automatically follow that she will enjoy having sex with just anyone… of course not.
As I have stressed before: things such as chemistry are not ‘learned’ behaviours – no amount of phony efforts can generate good chemistry. Two people desiring each other remain as unexplained today as it has in the past – having good chemistry is an occurrence simply happens or doesn’t as the case may be.
9. How Does an Escort Keep a Normal Life Going?
A question each escort needs to ask themselves is: what constitutes being “normal?” Is it complying with social norms? Is it acting just like everyone else? Many modern norms that persist today exist to benefit a system of complete inequality, rather than supporting a fair social environment that accommodates everyone. Is there any point in striving for a ‘normal’ life, when an escort’s life is anything but ‘normal’ as defined by contemporary society?
An escort’s view [anonymous]:
“I make a great effort to conform in public. The way I dress, act and appear is very much meeting the requirements (normal) from a public viewpoint. The point of conforming is to steer clear of rejection; I once desperately wanted to belong and be accepted by others. But in the process of appearing normal I was really rejecting myself. It also became very arduous trying to play different roles in different settings, so often I just isolated myself as it was the only place I could stop pretending to be someone I was not.
“For a long time after starting out a professional escort, I struggled with my identity. I didn’t know who I was, and I focused more on what I was expected to be. I was performing several different roles, catering to the needs of everyone else. I was an escort, but I had to hide that part of my life. How could I appear, work and mix with the mainstream when my experiences, tastes and work were so different? How could I relate to average women who would almost certainly avoid me if they knew my secret lifestyle? This is when I realized that society has made no place for stigmatized persons; for years it was emotionally draining feeling I must hide myself all the time.
“Escorts become conscious of their rejection by mainstream society early on, so they find social support among other sex workers. But I couldn’t do this. I felt alienated even among most other escorts — sadly, I felt there was no sense of unity among escorts in such an Individualistic environment. Escorts can be influenced by role expectations (paradoxically) and will often judge each other. I found that escorts usually bond together in their despair. Rather than deal with their pain together, they resort to ‘numbing’ their pain together by way of partying, drinking, excessive materialism and even drug use. Misery Loves Company is an ideal saying for when escort unity does exist. It isn’t only stigmatised persons, but also a lot of seemingly normal people tend to ‘party’ away their misery, because they themselves get tired of trying to live up to an unrealistic ideal placed upon their gender. Social pressures surely can explain why the ‘drinking and party’ culture is so prevalent in Western societies, because drinking allows people to feel artificially comfortable, at least for a short while. Personally, I did my best to stay away from fake situations. For me, the only place where I could reveal myself is when I was alone. My other outlet was when I fell in love.
“Early on, I wanted the ‘normal’ life and outlook for a woman: to fall in love, to get married and to have a family. I imagined that I could effortlessly change into a ‘normal’ life once getting married and settling down. And I almost did it. I stopped working for a long period when I was with my ex-fiancé. My life as a sex worker stopped me from being accepted by others and so I had to ‘hide’ myself. My ex-fiancé accepted me and never judged me for selling my body, but the struggle remained within me. When I started escorting I was in denial of the fact that I wasn’t anything like ‘normal’ girls. I sold my body, but I felt I was better than most escorts because my outside lifestyle and mannerisms were somewhat normal. But I became to accept that I was now a woman with a completely different outlook compared to the average girl. I saw sides of men and their sexuality that most women never see. My experiences made my life anything but normal.
Can an escort ever live a normal life?
“Of course, an escort can imagine her life is normal for outsiders, but inside she will be hiding a lot of emotions. A person can only hide themselves for so long. Sadly, I do not have a sound answer to this question, as there aren’t any real alternatives for sex workers in a modern society. However, I personally found comfort once I started expanding my awareness. From a very young age, I have always been fascinated with education.
One cannot only learn from books, one must also learn from experience too. I was moved to go to University to appease my inquisitiveness about human life, culture, humanity, political affairs, and so forth. University exposed me to scholars who logically critique all aspects of social phenomena.
I was introduced to the notion of ‘narratives’ and ‘discourses’ (stereotypes), which made me realise that many widely-held beliefs in society were constructed by particular people to serve a particular agenda. Moreover, norms that exist today are never fixed, and norms differ both historically and culturally.
More or less straight away I realised there was nothing to be ashamed of about choosing to be an escort, and that other cultures historically, once held ‘alternative’ lifestyles and sexual practices in high appreciation. It became fairly comforting when I started to appreciate that many intellectual people (in post-modern Social Sciences) are aware how norms are constructed in relation to power, therefore subject to consternation, change and variation.
There are, of course, lots of decent people who confront the unfair thinking of society and are open and receptive to ‘alternative’ lifestyles. There are numerous films about sex workers that show the emotional conflict many escorts face: when a prostitute discovers her place in society is not welcome and her behaviour is despicable and condemned by people who can’t or won’t accept that a professional escort fulfils an important social need.
Safe and Secure, No Reg/signup UK Sex Contacts