Hi, my name is Emma and here’s why (and how) masturbation is good for you
Yes, that’s right, I masturbate daily (literally) and there’s a good reason for it.
In a nod to National Masturbation Month – which is May, in case you didn’t know – I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk about my daily masturbation routine. Now, I’m not at all frightened to acknowledge that I masturbate regularly nor am I ashamed to speak up about what turns me on sexually, whether it’s watching hardcore porn, using sex toys or engaging in filthy chat and flirt sessions. As far as I’m concerned, it’s completely ‘normal’ to engage in ‘all-about-me time’ as often — or as little — as you’d like. The most important thing is that you’re taking time to prioritise your pleasure. Above all, it feels right and proper. So here goes…
When I first became sexually active, I promptly discovered that the only person responsible for my pleasure was me. Sure, I enjoyed my partner chipping in and chatting about what did and didn’t feel good, but the onus of having an orgasm fell on me. Knowing I could give myself such pleasure without the risk of contracting STD’s, as well as pregnancy issues or pressures from a sex partner was an incredibly powerful incentive for me to embark on lots and lots of self-gratification whenever an opportunity presented itself.
Masturbation & Masturbating
How I do it
Everybody does things a little differently ‘down there’. Personally, my MO is to start slowly with deliberate touching of my clitoris and vaginal area and just popping my finger inside myself to simulate penis penetration. Sometimes I’ll turn to my mental queue of hot sex fantasies; usually, I’ll watch some porn… I’m a very visual person. Tumblr can also be a great source for targeted keyword searches, such as slow finger fucking, for instance.
Porn can be a contentious area, but there are a handful of kick-ass women making ethically produced porn at the moment. Among my favourites are Bree Mills of Girlsway (100 percent girl-on-girl-porn), Erika Lust of XConfessions (she turns crowdsourced fantasies into erotic films), Tristan Taormino and Joanna Angel.
It’s common for me to bring sex toys into the mix. Sex toys remain a taboo subject for some, but not many know that as well as providing sexual pleasure, they’re also good for women’s health. My top three go-to sex toys for solo sex are the Womanizer, the Satisfyer Pro 2 and Fin.
Why I do it
No matter how I meander down the pathway of sexual pleasure, it never fails to give me all sorts of hot and fuzzy feelings. I’m by no means a therapeutic expert, but I believe regular orgasms do wonders for health and well-being.
Here are a few of the positive effects I get from getting off:
Masturbating releases sexual tensions. I have partner sex frequently, but I have a very high sex drive and always need more. Masturbation allows me to let go any pent-up sexual tension I may have. It makes me feel dominant to be able to harness that power into a positive release on my own terms.
Masturbating can reduce your anxiety. I’ve suffered from anxiety issues in the past, and doctors have prescribed me Valium (now marketed as Diazepam) and Xanax, (AKA Alprazolam) but nothing has calmed me down faster than getting horizontal and masturbating.
Masturbation helps with insomnia. I used to be a serious insomniac. If I managed six hours of sleep at night, I was lucky. If I can bring myself to orgasm before my head hits the pillow, I can count on eight solid hours of sleep. That’s proof perfect, right there, of the benefits of experiencing an orgasm.
Orgasms positively help if you suffer from menstrual cramps (period pains AKA Dysmenorrhea). Unfortunately, I’m one of those women who’s inclined to experience dreadful menstrual cramps at ‘that time of the month’. I also often get super-horny during that time of the month. I find if I masturbate when menstruating, it’s a much less agonising experience all around. I don’t know if it’s the release of muscle tension or a total redirect of pain, but it’s a win-win scenario that certainly helps me through.
Frequently masturbating can tighten your pubococcygeal muscles. I might be 45-year- old, but every single penis-owner who has ever had sex with me comments on my tight pussy. Sure, I use Kegel balls and take Pilates (where the mantra is: strong core, strong pelvic floor), but I credit my super-grip inner muscles to regular vaginal contractions and release of the pubococcygeal muscles.
If you don’t have a regular hands-on routine, there can be a learning curve. Embrace your curiosity and explore. If masturbation isn’t your thing, that’s okay. When it comes to sex, nobody should never ever do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable (or unsafe for that matter). Self-love is not just for so-called bad girls. Everybody deserves a happy ending — whatever that looks like to you.
Author: Emma Valasco