ONE NIGHT STANDS: Intimate one night stands have a pretty awful reputation. Picture this, two complete strangers come together after a chance meeting and jump into bed together. The sex is “disappointing” at best and leaves them both feeling guilty and pretty shitty.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way. The truth is when you open yourself up to the possibility that great sex or an excellent connection can take place between two people who don’t necessarily aim to spend the rest of their lives together things are capable of working out just fine.
One night stands:
As people get older the tendency is to reserve the best moves and most intimate feelings solely for people they are in a dedicated relationship with. This may sound great in theory, but in practice it means some people go for months without connecting sexually to someone, and that can make them feel alone, unsatisfied and frustrated. It also makes finding a partner more and more of a lifelong task as individuals slip into the “fate” frame of mind that there is their one true love out there somewhere… which is complete and utter bullshit.
As an alternative to hurrying from one run-of-the-mill relationship to another, in order to bond sexually and intimately with someone, it feels absolutely mind-blowing to create that bond with someone who you have no intention of moving in with – or starting a family with. A person who treats you with respect, love and thoughtfulness can do so for the rest of your life, or for the rest of the afternoon! Either way, it’s essential to encourage these people into your life and make the most of the time you have together.
One night stands:
Sounds perfect, right?
But how exactly do you bond with someone and also let them go at the end of the day? That feels counterintuitive, but actually, it’s not.
The way of attracting love, intimacy, and a super-hot lover into your life, and loving that person from top to bottom as you let them go on their way. This creates a continuous flow of love in your life. And it feels wonderfully marvellous. You breathe love, you move in love, and people can feel that shit!
This means when you meet someone who you DO want to spend the rest of your week, year, or life with, you are already in a place where it is easy for you to love. You don’t have to remember how it feels or get out of your selfish lifestyle in order to drag yourself back to a place where you can show love. Instead, you’re living in the love already! It’s so easy to invite someone into that incredible space. But intimacy isn’t something you think about or talk about – it’s something you do. And instead of spending a year going through a self-inflicted dry spell, consider practicing intimacy, one One Night Stand at a time.
One night stands:
Ok, now for the logistics:
Now, this might all sound rather fluffy and marvellous, the reality is harder to wrap your brain around. Here are a small number of the things you can do to make sure the intimate One Night Stand works for you, your partner and your life.
Just remember to stay safe, Okay?
Talk about what really matters
It is easy to craft intimacy through collective experiences, and if you’ve only got 30 minutes, the next best thing is shared knowledge. Knowing where someone went to school, what the name of their pets are, whether their parents are boat people or motorcycle people; these insights are great for building long-term relationships but completely unnecessary in an intimate One Night Stand. And under no circumstances should you talk about your past relationships, never, ever. These details can be counterproductive since it might give you a reason to follow up on mundane details of someone’s life after you’ve agreed to go separate ways. It’s an appealing thread to pull on when you feel lonely, but that’s not a healthy way to rekindle a relationship that was meant to end. Instead of listing the details of your life, concentrate on telling great stories. Talk about your passions, dreams, and things that make you laugh so hard you snort just a little. You’ve only got 30 minutes, so make it count!
One night stands:
Accept how exposed you both are
It’s essential to recognise your feelings. Admitting that you feel a little nervous or excited can make asking for what you need more comfortable. Women in particular, tend to put on a strong and sexy smokescreen as a part of their “femme fatale” seduction practice. This smokescreen comes with communication barriers and sometimes the fake sense of having no restrictions. You need those limitations and you need to make them extremely clear. But vulnerability is not a disadvantage, vulnerability is a massive turn on, and when you find someone who can communicate their insecurities and raw feelings BINGO you’ve found your ideal match for an intimate one night of sex.
One night stands:
Don’t make it more than it is
I previously had the most incredible One Night Stand. Regrettably, it lasted 8 months. We both felt such a connection that it was hard to admit that it would only happen this one (or 16) times. We both agreed that the feeling was so strong and so soul-merging that we should unquestionably be together, in spite of the fact that we lived 200 miles apart and were dreadfully mismatched partners. Whoops. Lesson learned. Don’t feel bad for walking away from something that felt great. You can always come back to a relationship that pulls at your heart over time but do not try to force something that was never intended to last. Maybe it turns into a Sorbet Relationship or just stays as one night of sexual intimacy. Accept it for precisely what it is.
One night stands:
Don’t get hung up
It’s simple to talk yourself out of a good time. She or he isn’t your “type”, you only date people who have dark hair, and you need someone who understands art. For a one night stand? Really? Let it go. Don’t let reason kill a great vibe. You aren’t taking them home to meet your parent’s, you’re taking them somewhere for a night of lust and filthy sex. Drop the pretensions and stereotypes and try something a little different. Intimate One Night Stands are the best way of testing some of your fixed requirements for relationships. I mean, how is that list of “must-haves” working out for you? Maybe you’ve been looking for an intelligent person who can keep up with your brilliance, but when you find someone that can make you laugh (a lot) you may find that they have the real connection you’ve been looking for. The takeaway is, you need to test and experiment!
One night stands:
Practice letting go
Wax on, wax off. That’s my basic theory of love. Every lover I bring into my life and then let go of has made my heart bigger and bigger. I never get filled to capacity. This isn’t like a tube of sweets or a box of chocolates that can only fit a certain amount. (mmmm… chocolates). Usually, it’s the ones that I hang onto for too long that pisses me off. When you practice letting love come into your life and easily out when it no longer makes sense, the stress of finding a lifelong partner melts away. We get so hyper-focused on finding “The One”, but maybe we should start looking for the one who can teach us to appreciate no strings attached sex, the one who shows us how to explore our sexual kinks, the one who makes us feel special for one night of passionate sex. Every lover has a purpose and can be loved and let go of. This is vital for creating the space we need to invite in “The One” who sticks around in a partnership for life.
One night stands:
Author XXX Sex Contacts
Kinky + phonesex