Domination: Mistress, Domina, Dominatrix


What is Female Domination? The whole expression seems to be somewhat inconsistent in our male dominated society. The term female domination does not originate from dominant women or feminists. No. It was men who came up with the saying 'female domination' to label their sexual and social needs to submit themselves to the female sex.


This article is all about female domination and male submissive desires. When a woman learns the art of dominance and female supremacy, it becomes the key to unlocking all submissive desires within men. The other side of female domination is the desire of men to be ruled and controlled by the female gender.

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This article is about domination (FemDom specifically) and is dedicated to persuading and supporting women to adopt the FemDom lifestyle. We can say with confidence that women who embrace this lifestyle are some of the most satisfied and contented woman we know. Countless other women could enjoy the FemDom life too.


This article is written from the starting position that you're a female and that you're in some sort of relationship with a submissive man. Assuming your are, you'll find this article applicable to the various scenarios described below.

You are female. You could be single and looking for your Mr Right. You might be married, or you could be in a committed relationship with a submissive man. You might be married to a weak man you don't want to leave, but you actually have very little or no respect for. Perhaps you're someone in a relationship with a partner who's addicted to food or alcohol or gambling or is unfaithful.


Some dominant female's 'own' bitch-boys who are completely submissive by nature. Many of these men discovered their submissive tendencies prior to their own puberty. We're talking about males who recognised submissive inclinations toward dominant women when they were as young at 10!

He knows this for sure because he identified with being of a 'submissive nature' while he was still in primary school.

Simply put, some men are 'born' to be submissive and can't be at ease without being controlled and subjugated. When a submissive man is subjected to cruelty, he accepts it as a clear reinforcement of just how weak and impossible his situation is, and this increases his sense of being controlled. Even though our man may actually hate many of his punishments, tortures, humiliations and endless chores.

BUT the FemDom in his life understands that his soul is at ease. There are indicators which support this. Not least of which, will be his devotion to and dread of a dominant woman.

If your man is really submissive (and many are) he will never be truly satisfied while devoid of true domination. Ladies, you have been warned!


Some women say 'I wish I had a man instead of a doormat'. These women are playing at domination or chastity control.

In the next section of this article, we'll set out a vision for taking the steps necessary to shift things from a 'game' and up into real domination scenarios.

First off, women need to understand that a man dominated, punished and humiliated is still capable of being their 'knight in shining armour', when he needs to be. We suggest that your submissive could even be the most intelligent and courageous man you have ever met. For instance, should you find yourselves in a dodgy part of town at night; would you not feel more secure with him by your side?

We hear time and time again that when the going gets tough, the submissive man steps up to the plate i.e. one FemDom told us that her sub would take on anyone or any organisation on her behalf with assertiveness and resolve.


A dominant woman, wanting to go for the full lifestyle of a FemDom, might be forgiven for thinking this will mean missing-out on the company of her sub. Not true.

You can absolutely carry on enjoying
your vanilla relationship but...
whn you choose and on your terms.

There will be times when you don't want to do anything other than 'hang out' with your sub. For instance, when you're together at home, tell him that you can do whatever you want with him because you own him and tonight you're going to use him for his vanilla company. It's that simple.

The same goes for family commitments and work functions. Your sub is likely to be intelligent and cultured so when you're watching a film or eating out at a fine restaurant, you want his vanilla company, his interesting and wise thoughts on what you are experiencing.

If you happen to like comedy, which most people do, it's not that great laughing alone is it? So you might want to use your sub for his vanilla company in certain situations and of your choosing.

When you next stay in a hotel, why not tie him up and gag him on the bed?! You could give him a harsh dose of duckie-discipline if you want. You can even orgasm, but not allow him to! Then simply release him saying 'I want your vanilla company' tonight. Your sub understands that he is yours to use in any way you wish and understands it includes you wanting him from-time-to-time for his 'vanilla company' at your whim.

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Your man needs to feel 100% powerless and vulnerable. This is simple to accomplish. For example, begin by playing some bondage games or dressing up games. Take a photo or two. Put the photos on a flash drive or memory stick and hide it away, or just tell him you have done so. Then, make threats to send the photos to someone, or a number of people, he would fear receiving them.

Make clear you have changed fundamentally and now cannot enjoy or consider your relationship without being the dominant partner, and so you are 100 percent serious. Leave him in no doubt. A submissive man will be in awe of your actions and intimidation, particularly if he knows the threats are not idle.

Most men will quickly accept the position. Like a wolf or chimpanzee in a pack, when a man knows his place in the pecking order he is at ease.

Begin the training. Men, just like many animals, can be trained over time. And you can move their sense of realism. Discipline his infractions with punishments that he is really terrified of and anxious to avoid. Over time, doing all the household tasks becomes a regular (though dull) part of his life, and there is recognition in him that that is the way things are going to be from now on.

The same experience applies to serving you hand-and-foot, and to his controlled sexual relief and independence. Get a chastity device. One involving a piercing is best. You will soon begin to experience the rush of having real authority over another human being. Power is an enormous rush and an aphrodisiac. Let's face it, power has been enjoyed by men over women for centuries, now women can take pleasure in it and be aroused and fulfilled by it too.

Begin to experiment with your cruelty and sadism. You may find it difficult to bring yourself to accept that you should display sadist tendencies. You may even find the word to be very offensive. That is because you are being thoughtlessly fettered by society's norms and standards. But after recurrent experiences of concentrated arousal while inflicting physical or mental pain on your sub, you will accept that you are capable of sadist acts, and will be willingly to embrace sadism. Perhaps you will quickly discover that it's sadistic activities which define what true power is, and that it's sadistic power which is a true aphrodisiac? But who cares, not us.


Imagine: Being thoughtfully woken and given tea or coffee in bed each morning. Being waited on hand and foot. Being wholly worshipped in mind and body. Having as many orgasms, on-demand, as you could ever want. No household tasks to perform again. A social life entirely of your choice. A 100 percent dependable partner who will never be disloyal. Being able to enter into D/s relationships with other subs – and all this is possible through the power of sadism.


Effort is necessary to uphold the FemDom lifestyle and D/s relationship. Rules need to be written, and it's crucially important that any infraction receives the appropriate degree punishment. You need to be perceptive and aware of what is going on in the sub's head. And if you feel that awe or compliance is fading, you must take action to correct this. You also have a duty to add new things to the list of rules from time to time, to keep everything fresh.

Bringing in other women is not always easy and requires patience to ensure you find the right person. But when you do, what a living nightmare it is for the poor sub and what a delight it is for you. Adding another FemDom into the mix really keeps the sub's head in the right place!

Physical exercise will help to keep your body in great shape. This will add to your power and will assist when teasing and denying the sub. But the lifestyle can be achieved without having to go to extremes of physical fitness. Wearing the right gear - high-heels and the like, is important (from both sides) and the effort you put in to your appearance will be rewarded a 1000 fold.


Skiing off-piste, offering unconditional love in a vanilla relationship or playing contact sports, all carry a risk, but many people take the risk to obtain the rewards. Adopting a FemDom lifestyle carries a risk too.

We'll leave it there for now, but will add more in this section in due course.

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The above article is intended to be informational. It is our attempt to deal with the adult subjects of Female Domination, male submission and human sexuality. Thank you to all our contributors.

Contrary to what some might think, sex has absolutely everything to do with Domination. Submissive men (and women) contact me because they want to explore their submissive side and role play various, sexually motivated, BDSM scenarios.
I am Mistress Madelena, THE Queen of Spreads! Click for MY page

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